“and they lived happily ever after”
work in progress
I have always taken issue with this “ending” by Hans Christian Anderson. I did not read fairy tales to my children and one of my favorite baby shower gifts to give is “the Paper Bag Princess” by Robert Munsch. In it the princess cleverly saves both herself and the prince and then decides she needs no rescuing, and that she wants to go on adventures instead of being married and “living happily ever after.”
I think most of life happens after that. The true living, human connections, struggles, precious moments, disappointments and triumphs. Perhaps because my mother was chronically ill while I was in my teens, and died when I was 23, I learned that life does not follow any prescribed course. I recognized early on that things can change and be lost in an instant, that happiness comes in many guises and that what matters is how these experiences are faced, and with whom. The rosy ending of riding into the sunset is actually the tentative beginning of a life of experience.
The lull after
cyanotype work in progress
When I first embarked on my art career I set goals - determining my own pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But the more I accomplished these goals, I realized that these endpoints are in fact a lull that creates paths branching in multiple directions. There are natural endpoints to an individual artwork, or series of artworks, but I find the materials, themes and processes curl back on each other, echoing and spiraling out in other explorations.
In the studio I am in a lull. I am finishing up several multi-year projects: Covid Count, Marking Time series, the documentation of The Memory Project iteration in Thousand Oaks CA. I find myself impatient to complete these so I have difficulty being fully present in the making as my mind and hands are itching to sink into other explorations.
“Happily ever after is a state of mind. A choice.”
Creation is a cyclical process. Endings become beginnings become endings. In between is a restless time. Limbo is bittersweet. I know the satisfaction of completion cedes quickly to uncertainty, curiosity, searching, questions. Unsure of where new paths will lead me, overwhelmed with where to start and a resistance to begin.
Where do we go from here
Installing Emergence at Silvermine Art Center
I need to make room emotionally by releasing series into the world, physically clean and reorganize the studio, mentally clear the decks to allow ideas, processes experiments and expression to bubble up. Which requires being present, responsive and curious.
I ground myself in the here and now by walking, (esp in early dusk when blossoms release their scent as birds call and settle, owls begin to hoot); gardening, elbow deep in earth, playing with color, shape height and bloom time and allowing myself to play in the studio.
Playing with cyanotypes, I explore shifts of light, sun strength, sun vs. bright shade, and post treatment dye baths.
Playing with encaustic monotypes, I explore natural dyes, layering, paper size and weight while exploring stitching as embelishment or as a means to join paper, increasing scale.
Happily ever after is a state of mind. A choice. There is no single desired fairy tale ending. There is no single solution, direction or ending in my art. Tolerating the ambiguity, maintaining flexibility, curiosity and saying yes as often as I can, especially to things that feel scary. It is how I grow. Become stronger. More resilient. And achieve my own personal happily ever after, with purpose, desire and intent.
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